A viewer named Moxo recently asked me a very pertinent question: “If we are spiritually informed , if we know we are part of a collective consciousness , why do we still feel sad?”
It is a paradox, isn’t it? You know the spiritual truth, yet you still suffer.
To answer this, I want to share a concept from Buddhism that completely shifted how I view my own pain: The Two Arrows.
The First Arrow: The Event
Imagine you are walking in the woods and you get struck by an arrow. It hurts. It is physical, real, and undeniable.
In life, the “First Arrow” is what happens to us.
- Someone insults you.
- You lose your job.
- You go through a breakup.
- You get sick.
We cannot control the First Arrow. Life will shoot it at you regardless of how “spiritual” you are. It is painful.
The Second Arrow: The Story
But then, most of us do something strange. We take a second arrow, and we stab ourselves with it, right in the same wound.
The “Second Arrow” is our reaction to the event.
- “Why did this happen to me?”
- “I am such an idiot for letting this happen.”
- “I will never recover from this.”
- “He shouldn’t have said that to me. It’s so unfair.”
The First Arrow is Pain. The Second Arrow is Suffering. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
How to Drop the Second Arrow
Moxo, you asked why you feel sad even though you know the “truth.” It is because while you cannot stop the First Arrow (the trigger), you are still habitually firing the Second Arrow (the judgment).
The moment you feel sad, ask yourself: Is this a First Arrow or a Second Arrow?
If someone called you a name, that was the First Arrow. It flew past you. It’s gone. If you are still thinking about it three hours later while lying in bed, that is you stabbing yourself.
The Practice
You have the remote control. You cannot control the world, but you can control the narrative you build around it.
- Acknowledge the Pain: “Ouch, that comment hurt.” (First Arrow).
- Observe the Reaction: Watch your mind trying to create a story about it. (“He hates me,” “I’m worthless”).
- Drop the Arrow: Take a deep breath and say, “I refuse to shoot the second arrow.”
Spiritual knowledge doesn’t mean you never get hit. It just means you stop hitting yourself.